It’s been a minute. Holidays…Januarypocalips…but I’m back with something I’ve been chewing on for a while. It has to do with Matthew 13, the parable of the sower. I will include it here, and then unpack what I’ve been chewing on.
Matthew Chapter 13 (NKJV)
3 Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. 6 But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. 8 But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”
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18 “Therefore hear the parable of the sower: 19 When anyone hears the word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside. 20 But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles. 22 Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. 23 But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”
This scripture passage came up in one of my therapy sessions. I was wrestling with being a good witness for Christ to people and how to do that when it is not received. I’m not talking about shoving the gospel down people’s throats, I’m referring to the ways of showing and sharing the work Christ has done in our lives, the transformation and testimony of where we have seen Him at work. I was talking about this with my therapist and, as she often does, she gave me homework. As I was completing the assignment, this scripture was brought back to my memory. Here is the revelation I had, maybe it will encourage you.
First, I was putting way too much pressure on myself for the response of others. The first revelation God showed me in this journey with this parable was that my assignment is to only throw the seed in some relationships. What do I mean by “throw the seeds”? Sometimes, our role is to show the love of Christ through living out the fruit of the spirit and walking in forgiveness. Another way to “throw seeds” is sharing biblical truth as opportunities allow. Diving deep isn’t always our role. The response of others to my seed throwing efforts, is not my responsibility. They have free will to respond how they choose. Honestly, this took a weight off. It helped me view many relationships differently. It also caused me to take inventory of my relationships, and seek the Lord on what my role is in each relationship in my life. Additionally, I took an inventory of what each person played in mine. Also, I repented for taking responsibility for things that were not mine, and trying to take control away from God. A weight was released.
I let this sit for awhile. God used this “sitting” period to give revelation and bring some much needed healing to my heart. Then, as I started writing I felt a pause and I wrestled with this passage, again. What if, in some relationships in our lives, we are the seed thrower? What if, in other relationships our role looks different? This parable may be showing us all the different roles we could play in a person’s life, depending on the gifts the Lord has given each of us, and what He calls each of us to.
Let’s start with the easy one. The one who has good ground, the soil is fertile, the ground has been tilled, the seed lands and takes root immediately. It will still need to be nurtured, and cared for as it grows. What if, God is calling us to deeper discipleship in relationship with people who are hungry for the Lord and want to grow in their sanctification journey? Hypothetically, this person may need someone who is well seasoned in the faith, and maybe in life, to walk them the next leg of their journey. They may need someone to come alongside them and encourage them as they dive deeper. Someone who will challenge them and push so the seeds will sprout and fruit will form. What if?
Let’s try a harder one. Stick with me. Could we be called to use the gifts God has given us to come alongside someone whose seed keeps falling to the wayside and it gets snatched up, because they have difficulty understanding? What if the gifts God has given us allows for patience with someone who asks a lot of questions? I think of the disciple Thomas. Jesus was so patient with him and all his questions. Maybe, we have gifts where we can serve these friends in the basic things: a coffee meet up and conversation, take them soup when they are sick, or any number of things. Hypothetically, these acts of love: listening, responding with truth saturated in love, and acts of service, could be hauling in some soil that allows for a seed to take root and not get snatched up. What if?
How about the seeds that fall on a stony place? They keep getting the word and they receive it for a minute, then life happens and it’s gone. What if God says that He has gifted you to be patient with them, come along side them, and bear their burden with them? Ultimately, leading you, or the next person God brings along, to be able to teach and guide them in releasing these heavy burdens to the Lord. As they have their moments of revelation, your role may be offering to help them carry the stones off the path. Truly, what I see happening here is inner healing, okay really ALL of this points to inner healing. All of the stones blocking seeds from taking root and remaining, likely have names. Unforgiveness is most likely one. (Unforgiveness is likely involved in every area, even the most fertile soil folks can learn about forgiveness.) What if, our role is to show them how to forgive, one person at a time? Maybe a stone is abuse, and they need to experience genuine care and love, so that stone can be hauled away. Maybe a stone is striving for perfection, and they need someone to help them navigate releasing that expectation to God, and renounce lies they have come to believe as truth, all so they can walk in the freedom He has for them. What if your role is allowing the Lord to work through you to provide an environment where seeds can take root and grow?
How about the thorns? Those pesky thorns. The seed is received, but then the world still looks really good, and appears easier. What if you have a gift that spiritually can bring in garden clippers and help clip, pull out, and uproot the thorns? For example, God has gifted you in such a way that you can patiently love, speak truth, and show up for someone who has operated in a place of self protection? As you hear their heart and say “Let me help you with that.”, and they allow you to help them the thorns get clipped back, maybe the fear and the anxiety can be clipped away. The barrier to their heart that they thought was protecting them, slowly clips back and they realize there is a peace that surpasses all understanding. There is joy, even when things are hard or they hurt. There are people who are genuine and God’s truth is real. These seeds, these roles, these gifts, are valuable.
Christians who have been walking this thing for a while, have that fertile soil, and are at a place where they don’t just have seeds taking root anymore, but full blown gardens, they know something that younger Christians may not realize. There are some relationships in our life where we will never see the fruit from the role we played in someone’s life. It does not matter which role we are called to play. There are some people who will never see the fruit from the role they played in our lives. It goes both ways. There are those few relationships in our lives that will walk the long haul with us, in deep meaningful relationship, where we may see the deep meaningful things the Lord does in their lives, and they may see the same in ours, over years of intentionality.
The word does stand true, some will hear the word and never fully embrace it, or even embrace it at all. That is grieving to my heart. Some want it, and they will come around to it. If we don’t let their straying, stony path, or thorns scare us away from using the gifts God has gifted to us with to serve others, we may get to see many people embrace what the Lord has for them.
We must always use wisdom and discernment and ask the Lord some of, but not limited to, the following questions:
- What relationship is for me?
- What capacity am I to be in relationship with this person?
- What is my role and responsibility in this relationship?
- What is their role in relationship with me?
- What giftings have you given me that I can use in this relationship?
We must be mindful of the relationships he gives each of us as followers of Christ. Then, we have to obey what He says. Obedience is so important. We can pray and listen all day long, but we have to put it in action and obey. Ultimately, we must trust the Lord with each person in our life, no matter their capacity in our life. Each relationship in our life comes with the necessity for different boundaries. If we let him guide and direct our relationships, we will receive what is there for us to receive, and we will pour what is meant for us to pour. We love every person in our life, no matter how small of a piece of our lives they occupy, because He first loved us.
I know, for me personally, I am thankful for the people who haven’t given up on me when I was hardest to love, or when I didn’t seem to “get it.” I always thought my only option in this parable, if I were to place myself in one of the categories, was the fertile soil. It was too scary to think I might not be the one with the fertile soil, and thus unable to understand the word of the Lord. The truth is, that I was most likely a place with some thorns and a few stones that were too heavy to carry alone. There have been followers of Christ in my life who obeyed the call God placed on their life, and used their gifts to edify me. What an honor and blessing, and so very humbling. Some of those people that have discipled me, were only there for a season, and new ones have stepped in where they left off. Very few have been with me for the whole journey, but there are a few. I am eternally grateful for those who showed up to be loving, kind, gentle, joyful, peaceful, long suffering, truth speakers/teachers, interceders, and for those who showed up with garden clippers, to help with the heavy lifting, and those bold in the faith.
The things that God is teaching me above have given me some perspective and wisdom. May God bless you, wherever you are in your journey with him. May you not miss Him when He sends His servant on your path to help you grow deeper in relationship with Him. May you not miss the vital role He has you to play in each relationship in your life, no matter how big or small.
As I have been working on this post I have been discussing it with Brett and some dear friends. I was reminded of a couple scriptures that help bring this parable and revelation about this parable full circle.
1 Corinthians 3:5-6
5 Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each one? 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.
and
1 Corinthians 12:12
12 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.
We each have a role to play. Each role is important.
Until next time.